What can make a good parent?
A great parent is someone who strives to make choices in the most effective interest of the kid.
What can make a great parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be ideal. No one is perfect. No kid is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting is not about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't imply that we should not work towards that goal. Set high standards for ourselves then and first the children of ours second. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Here are 10 tips for a great parenting experience, including the way to avoid bad parenting, and be a much better parent.
They aren't all that simple or fast.
And probably nobody can do them all the time.
Although some of these may not be 100 % successful, you will be in a position to move ahead using the suggestions in this parenting guidebook.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, understand them, and incorporate them in to our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very carefully.
So, be the person you want the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - and your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Show the love of yours.
There's simply no such thing as loving the child of yours too much. Loving them can't spoil them.
Just what you decide to do (or give) in the name of love can - things like material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over protection. When these items are given in place of love that is real, that is when you will have a spoiled child.
Loving your child may be as easy as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and listening to your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love can trigger the release of feel good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a full sense of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the kid, will acquire resilience and not to point out a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape the personalities of ours, and basically determine who we are. They're created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also offer them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories of you your kid carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it appears to be hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it is possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what is right and what's wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind when you set rules and enforce them. Focus on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a good way, instead of to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Let the child of yours realize that you'll remain there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept the child of yours as an individual. Be a warm and safe place for the child of yours to explore from and return to.
Children raised by parents that are constantly responsive tend to have much better psychological regulation development, social skills development, and emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to your child as well as listen to them thoroughly. By maintaining an open line of communication, you will have a better connection with your child and your child will come for you when there is an issue.
But there is another reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't have to provide solutions. You don't need to have all the answers to become an excellent parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
Many of us want to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even those who had an excellent upbringing and a thankful childhood might want to change some elements of the way they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open our mouths, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is an action towards understanding the reason we parent how we do. Make note of things you would like to change and think of how you would do it differently in a real scenario. Attempt to be mindful and change your behavior next time those issues come up.
Don't give up in case you do not succeed at first. It will take practice, a lot of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Pay attention to Your own WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Pay attention to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including the own needs of yours or the health of Parentinghowto the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. When you don't take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Make time to strengthen the relationship of yours with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child mentally and physically will make an impact in their parenting and family life. In case these two areas fail, your child is going to suffer, too.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to result in short-term compliance which occasionally is a much needed help for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method does not teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The kid is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to the child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is more prone to fighting with other children. They are much more apt to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later in daily life, they're also more likely to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, worse parent child relationships, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are a variety of more effective options to discipline which have been proven to be much more effective, such as positive discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's the goal of yours in raising a kid?
When you're like the majority of parents, you would like your child to do well in school, be productive, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good relationships with you and others, be to care and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and also satisfying life.
Though how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you most likely spend most of the time simply attempting getting through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Instead, find ways to turn every negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be transformed into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what is already known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, practices, or traditions were scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for raising a child and information that are supported by science, here's among my favorite science-based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Making use of medical knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every child is different. Even within the best parenting style, there are able to be a variety of good parenting practices you can choose according to your child's temperament.
A very good example is employing spanking to discipline. You will find numerous better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You can choose a non-punitive discipline method that works ideal for the child of yours.
Of course, you can additionally decide to use "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also may still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more susceptible to parenting quality is going to have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They can thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on the part of yours in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good point is, that although parenting is difficult, it's also very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come later than the effort. But if we try our best today, we will ultimately reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!